The Really Crazy HPLOTR Crossover
by Esmarelda Gamgee
Summary: Sirius falls through the veil and now its up to Harry and the Fellowship to save him! May be too random for a normal person! Rated PG for teensy language!
1. Default Chapter

The really crazy hp/lotr crossover!

(a/n- this weird story is written by esmarelda gamgee and gavvie. gavvie is really hyper right now, so excuse it)

you write flames=you DIE!

(disclaimer- we don't own anyone, dammit!

"NO!" Harry screamed as Sirius fell through the big black veil. He knelt down in front of it, his vision blurred with tears.

(a/n- that is the end of the only part of this story that makes sense.)

Frodo and Sam were sad because Bill was gone! Awww, poor bill!

"Let's go through this magic transportation portal!" said the Fellowship. "Okay!" the Fellowship replied.

Then they did! Yippee!

There, they met Harry! Then Harry met Sally! Harry said "Can you help me save Sirius?"

The Fellowship said,"Sure! But only if you give us flowers and bunnies!" "Okay!" said Harry. "I'll get my friends to come too!"

"Hey Ron and Hermy," said Harry, "Will you come with me and this random band of short and tall peeps to save Sirius?"

"Sure!" they said together as they put down the goat they had been playing dodgegoat with.

"Hey we wanna come too!" said Fred, George, and Ginny. "For future chanting!"

"Ok!" said Harry. "But first we need to find some flowers and bunnies to give to the short and tall people."

GASP! HOW WILL THEY DO THAT?

Tune in next time, on the really crazy hp/lotr crossover


	2. qwe

(a/n Weeeee! Lalala! Ummmm, yea, in case you 4got, me(gavvie) and esmarelda gamgee are workin 2gether on this fic!!!! Yeah!!!!!!! No fwames peeeeese!)

disclaimer: we don't own anything you recognize. Awww, poor us!

Sooooooooooo, Harry, Ickle Ronniekins, Hermy, Fredrick, George, and Virginia all went to find happy flowers and bunnies! "At least they didn't ask for a shrubbery," said Ron after they had been looking for eleventyone hours, "that would have been _really_ hard to find!" "Let's sing a song!" suggested Ginny. "Okay!" said Fred and George. "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay I sleep all night and I work all day. I cut down trees I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory on Wednesday's I go shopping, have buttered scones for tea!" After they stopped singing, they came to Mordor where Sauron was redecorating. He painted everything pink and hung lace everywhere! He also had a purple ribbon basket. To everyone's surprise and delight he had flowers and bunnies everywhere! "Yippee! Can we have some flowers and bunnies, Monsieur Sauron?" they asked. "Sure kids!" he said and he threw some flowers and bunnies at them. "Thanks, M. Sauron!" they said and hurried back to the Fellowship.

"Here are your flowers and bunnies, poor crazy people, "said Harry as he threw the flowers and bunnies at the fellowship. He missed and they fell right down a rabbit-hole. "And that's where we get the game of golf," said Frodo. "Ah, I wish you young people knew more of your histories," he said turning to Sam, Merry, and Pippin. (see the hobbit video game)

They all arrived at the big black scary preposterous demon-duckish qwe veil. "What is this magic?" said Quirrel/Voldemort, appearing out of no where. "No movie catchphrases!" screamed Hermione. She hated movie catchphrases. "Aw man," said Quirrel as he left. "Scribbley Scrib Scribbles, doodoo! Scribbley Scrib Scribbles doodoo!" sang the authors! "Ahhhhhhh!!!!" everybody screamed and ran away! "It's the hyper authors!" They ran into the Department of Mysteries. Some huge random rocks fell and blocked their way out. "We have now but one choice," said Gandalf. "We must face the long confusion and randomness of the Department of Mysteries." "Harry has a dressing gown and a violent tattoo? What kind of book is this?!" said Ron, slamming his copy of The Order of the Phoenix shut and putting on a nearby table. "What?" said Harry with his pink silk gown on, pointing to a tattoo that he had of a person stabbing someone. They went further into other rooms. Gaspeth!

(a/n- hey please keep reviewing and check out our other stories! And review those too! luvs ya, bye byes)


	3. corn pops!

(a/n my dear co writer, esmarelda, has just come off second best in a fight with a sugar rush so I will be starting off as I have done in like every other chapter.)

disclaimer: no, we don't own anything. That makes me sad. O well, too bad

Fred and George were sad because they were! The Fellowship and the Wizards went into the next room. "What're those things?' asked a scared Strider. (a/n Yes, Strider. Aragorn is a sucky name. It's soooo last year. Strider is the new pink!) "I think they're cauliflower corn pops," said Pippin. "No," said Merry," they're obviously bean yackiyadas." Harry danced (the Macarena) toward the strange objects. "Heyyyy! Macarena! These aren't cauliflower corn pops! And they aren't bean yackiyadas! They're, dun dun dun, Brains!" "Ahhhhhhhhh!" screamed everyone and they ran out of the room. "Phew, I'm glad to be outta there." Said Bill the Pony. "Yeah," said Sam, "That's a huge monkey off my back. Wait a minute. Bill? I thought we were sad because you were gone!" "Oh, well, I'm back now so don't be sad!!!!!!!!!!!!!" said Bill. "We must now go to the next room and refer to a different page of the Order of the Phoenix!" said Gandalf.

(a/n-I (esmarelda gamgee) feel better. I can write now. yippee!!!!!!!!!)

As they walked down the hallway they ran into a crystal jar that contained Quirrel inside it, showing him from when he was possessed by Voldemort to his death. "What is this magic?" it said.

"NO FREAKING MOVIE CATCHPHRASES!!!!!!" shrieked Hermione as she summoned one of the brains from the other room and threw it at the jar. It broke and the disgruntled brain walked home. "Here," said Frodo, "Let's try this next room." They opened the door with the duck on it and jumped inside.

"Hey we were already in this room," said Legolas, "What gives?"

"You ditz!" shouted Gimli, "Obviously we did! How do you think this story keeps going? Never trust an Elf to have common sense!"

GLARING.............

"Let's get on with the bloody story and bloody go through the bloody veil!" yelled Ron. "Bloody hell!"

(a/n- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! suspense! gasp! ummmm...yeah... anyway, please keep reviewing! 1234567890qwedododododododododododofnjsagfnbntghjdav danjtheqdgurwghreahgjdsghiwdstugwdbgfurew


	4. wheat

(a/n) (this program is not suitable for children who are easily scared. I will be starting this chappie because my sister is teaching esmarelda to play King Kong on the clarinet)

(disclaimer- anything you recognize is not ours.oh!)

Suddenly Voldemort appeared! Everyone was scared. Everyone except Harry, that is. "We need to get through the veil to save Sirius. Can you help?" Harry asked. Before he could answer Fudge ran in. He stared at Voldemort in disbelief. "You're not supposed to be here! You're supposed to be dead!" he said. Voldemort said, pointing at Harry, "When he stranded me on that god forsaken spit of land, you forgot one thing, mate. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?" Fudge looked tasty to Ginny. She walked up to him and said," Hello, can I eat you?" Fudge screamed and ran away. "Oh. My. God. There. Is. A. Bug. In. My. Hair. EEEEKKK!!!! Get away you evil banana!" Legolas screamed and started running away. "Why are we even trying to get through the veil? Do you actually think this guy is alive?" asked Boromir (the bean). "You don't believe!!?!?!?!" asked Esmarelda. "Noooo! Lost another one to Dietech. Wheat!" said gavvie. "All right," said Ron," I've had enough. Let's just go through that bloody veil."

Everyone stepped in at the same time. How? We don't know. Ask Ron's dad. When they got to the other side, some random dog walked up to them and said, "Sora's the keyblade master." Then it walked away. "We're flying through space, Carly! Space!" exclaimed Esmarelda. Sorry for the inturruption. hahaha. On the other side of the viel they saw the Chicken Mafia!!!! Ahhhh!!!! "If you want to see your godfather again, you stupidhead," the Godchicken.said "you'll have to go through us; The Chicken Mafia!!!!!"

"Hey you can't call Harry a stupidhead if you're trying to insult him!" shouted Ron. "It's opposite day! You are so cool!" "You look nice today!" shouted Big Beak. "You're not a cheese cracker!" screamed Bach. "Well you-don't—itch!!!" shrieked the Italian Clucker. "What?" shouted Ron. "I've heard better comebacks from a piece of...lamp head!" "Lamp head?" yelled Big Beak. "What the heck is lamphead?" "I dunno," said Ickle Ronniekins. But then, just as the strange people were about to take on the Chicken Mafia, a giant model of the Sears Tower fell down from the ceiling and crushed the Chicken Mafia. "Oh well," said Harry. "Hey look! I have pants on my hands!" said gavvie. "Oh, I threw pants at you!" "Stop throwing pants at me!" said Esmarelda "I trying to type here!" They went a couple feet further and found Sirius! Yay!!! "Hi Sirius!" said Harry.

"Hi Harry!" said Sirius, "Would you like some chocolate? This place is full of it." The Fellowship and stuff looked around and noticed that he was right. The place was covered in chocolate, flowers, bunnies, and smiley faces. Sirius saw their awed faces and said,"Yeah, it's great here. That's why I didn't just go back through the veil." "What? You don't like us?" asked Harry. "Ummm... I like chocolate better," he replied. "ZOh," Said Frodo. "That's okay," said Harry. Suddenly, they heard from behind them a chorus of "For pity's sake, this is folly"'s. They turned around and saw that Boromir(aka the bean) had just stepped through the cloning machine that was sitting there for the convenience of the plot. Fred, George and Ginny finally found their chanting opportunity. "He saw beans lots of beans lots of beans lots of beans oh beans lots of beans lots of beans lots of beans yeah yeah!" "How are we going to find out which one is the real Bean?" asked Strider. "He's the moderately Elvis one," said The Thnikkaman,"Yeah, shut up kids!" Then they found the right Bean and killed all the other ones by shooting them each with three arrows and throwing them off of waterfalls. Then they all went home except the dead beans that are dead because they're dead. Now, remember, children, SNAPE IS COOL BLOODY BEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO HE ISN"T GAVVIE!

SO NOT THE DRAMA!!!! HOT POTATO HOT POTATO!!

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT BLOODY STUPID DRAMA LINE!!!!!!!!!!

CAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT!!!!!

I DON'T CARE! ITS EVIL!!!

(important people get weary of our bickering and edit the rest of this out!)

THE END

By the way, that was the end.


End file.
